Talking to Him...

I struggle with something.

I struggle because I know what I should do & what I need to do, but I don't know how to do it.

I don't know how to talk to God...sounds weird eh?

It still feels a little awkward, talking to God.

I wasn't raised in a home that emphasized praying or giving it all to Him. Sure we were raised to fear Him. I knew there was God. I knew my mother always said if she ever walked into a church surely she'd set on fire immediately!

I never understood that.

If I could replace one thing about my childhood, it would be that I didn't KNOW God. That there was no church or Bible in our lives. That's what I wish I hadn't missed out on.

So as a girl who lost 25 years of knowing Christ as my savior, I want to know all that I can know now. I want to "do it right."  I want to teach my children and raise my children up knowing Jesus and talking to God.

But how do I teach them to talk to God, when I don't even know where to start?

When I pray, I feel nervous and get all sweaty. Like I must not be doing this right or I'm going to mess up the words.

Or maybe I still feel that guilt, that maybe (even though He loves me & has given me a clean slate) I'm still not "good enough."

I get apprehensive & scared to lead a prayer whether at the table before a meal or even in my own heart when my eyes are closed and it's just me and God. I still feel...scared.

Is that weird?

I am hoping the more I grow and the more I read my bible, the closer I will feel to Him. I want so badly to have a close personal relationship with Him, I just have to let go of my mind.  Stop letting my mind play tricks on me.

Stop over thinking and just let it flow.

Anyone else? Any other new"ish" believers have the same problem?

How do you overcome it?

Thanks for stopping by!

Jaymie